JOAN'S OFFICE: Trouble Sleeping Again

JOAN'S OFFICE: Trouble Sleeping Again:  Posted: August 23, 2020 By: Joan Whetzel   This year has weighed heavy on my, and yes, I know I am not alone in this. Between the Covid...

Trouble Sleeping Again

 Posted: August 23, 2020

By: Joan Whetzel

 

This year has weighed heavy on my, and yes, I know I am not alone in this. Between the Covid, the lock downs, lower income because of not working, the political climate, and just a general feeling that everything feels unsettled, I have come to a point this summer where I cannot sleep well. It reminds me of my personal summer from hell a few years ago, and has triggered some of the feelings of being in a life I have no control over – feelings I had that summer after my husband died – triggering memories of the trouble sleeping I had back then. Sleep-wise, I would kill for a consistent string of all-nighters, with only a rare trip to the bathroom.

 

Well I have, in the intervening years, developed a bedtime routine of sorts, which has helped me get a good night’s sleep most of the time. At least until this summer. This summer’s routine means I am getting a little more sleep than I did that summer (5 hours interrupted sleep as opposed to 3 hours of extremely interrupted sleep). But oh, what I wouldn’t give for a normal sleep pattern again.

 

My bedtime routine includes:

1.   -  Running the ceiling fan to keep it cool (and for a little white noise).

2.   -  Going to bed and waking up at the same time.

3.   -  Watching what I eat, especially in the evening (no spicy or fried foods, no coffee past noon).

4.    - Using dim table lamps the last hour before laying down to go to sleep.

5.   -  Praying (usually the rosary, something about the rhythm of it) right before going to sleep.

6.   --  Getting regular exercise during the daytime.

7.   -  Turning off political and Covid virus news. Period.

8.  -   Watching TV shows or movies that allow my mind to wander and imagine; shows that don’t leave me  agitated and upset.

-I have found a few bedtime and daily routine things that I change out or add in to my day and night as needed:

1.   -  I have noticed that my exercise routine has fallen off considerably, and I am working back into increased exercise daily.

2.   - Since I’m home all the time, I have begun taking afternoon naps. Definitely a habit I’ve had to work hard at stopping.

3.    - I’ve been locked up inside. So, on the few days I get outside and catch some rays, I have slept better that night. So, this will be something I add more regularly to my days. Even if it’s only to go sit out on the deck to eat lunch.

4.  -   I do occasional mindless repetitive tasks in front of the evening TV, like mending, making lists of things that need to be done seems to wind my mind down. Less time to worry over the things that keep my head from shutting up.

5.   -  I turn on a relaxation or sleep “video” from my Amazon Prime account, and setting the TV timer to turn off in 30 minutes. (I always fall asleep before the TV goes off).

6.   -  Or use my white noise machine. It has a selection of sounds to choose from and I can set it to turn itself off. (I fall asleep before it turns off).

7.   -  I also read a few chapters of my latest book several nights a week.

Lately, I have added one more trick that Grandma Pauken used to help us sleep when we went up there on summer vacations. I drink a glass of warm milk with Ovaltine. I’ve done it for the last 2 nights. It definitely helps me fall asleep. It hasn’t quite helped me stay asleep all night – yet. But then it’s only been 2 nights. So, we’ll see. I have found a few other tricks I might swap out. I’ll let you know how they work.

 

 

OMG, When Did I Become My Dad?

By Joan Whetzel

I’ve been pondering my life lately. Looking at the choices I’ve made, the way I think, the way I decide to do things. I’ve come to the realization that I’m hardwired a lot like my dad. Then it felt like the universe reached out and whacked me upside the head. OMG! When did I become my dad?

Whenever the universe drops a few more “challenges” in my lap (I can think of a few other choice words that I’d like to use), first I get mad, plot a little revenge against the person or entity that’s raising my stress levels along with my blood pressure, then I take care of the elephant in the room in the quickest most efficient way possible. I can’t count the number of times I saw my dad stress out over seemingly overwhelming odds dropped in his lap, then suddenly come up with an organize plan for fixing it in the most efficient way possible.

Refrain: OMG when did I become my dad?

Over the years I have planned things like vacations (haven’t been able to afford one of those in years) and even picnics. I’d pull out the road maps and plan the route; plan what’s packed for the trip or picnic or trip to Miller Outdoor theater; plan for every contingency; and make sure everything makes it into the car – on both ends of the trip.  

Refrain: OMG, when did I become my dad?

I have found, especially in recent years since my husband’s death, that making lists of everything that needs doing and all the steps involved, calms my mind. It also feeds my OCD need to organize EVERYTHING!   

Refrain: OMG, when did I become my dad?

I’ve also noticed that I can’t stand leaving things undone.

·       Can’t get up in the morning without making my bed.

·       Can’t leave bills unpaid when I have the money in my account to pay them right now.

·       When facing a “challenge” requiring several steps to fix, I can’t sit around waiting for the ball to land back in my court before I collect everything I need to take care of the next step. I have to collect everything I know I’m going to need – well in advance – and stack the items in neat little piles, organized by the “challenge” that needs fixing. Each pile is then organized into paper-clipped bundles that represent the step where it’ll be needed and each paper-clipped bundle is placed in chronological order in its pile.

·       Even my preparations for doing my taxes are organized. Receipts/Documents are collected in a fanfold file, labeled by topic, and all the receipts and documents are placed in chronological order or by sub-topic (check stubs or documents for income are paper-clipped by income source). Makes it easier at tax time, since I won’t have to do so much organization when I sit down to do my taxes. 

Refrain: OMG, when did I become my dad?

A couple of weeks ago I created another one of my Excel spreadsheets to track the tasks I was doing at work. I started pondering all of the Excel increasingly complex spreadsheets that I have created for myself in recent years to track my spending, to keep track of my taxes and income, and a whole bunch of other stuff that I do. Yeah, just another shining example of my OCD need to stay organized and on top of things. Anyway, I got to thinking that if dad had had the opportunity to learn Excel and saw all the neato-keeno ways that it could be used to organize just about everything, that he would have LOVED this tool. The universe just whacked me upside the head again. I suddenly saw me and dad trying to one-up each other in a never-ending Excel spreadsheet complexity competition. 

Refrain: OMG, when did I become my dad?

 

Alternate Routes

By Joan Whetzel

 

I started a new job right before Christmas. The job is a little further from home than I would have liked, but the pay is good and I really need to work. So, I said yes when they offered. Well, I thought I’d found the perfect route, based on the facts at hand. It didn’t take long to figure out I needed some alternative routes.

The facts at hand? Houston traffic is a nightmare after about 6:15 in the morning. If I leave any time after that, I’d be late for work. Severe weather and traffic accidents will alter drive times and traffic patterns, NOT in my favor. I was originally scheduled to work 7:30 to 4:00, which means that leaving by 6:15 could get me to work in about 40 to 45 minutes. Leaving work at 4:00 could get me home in about an hour to 1 hour and 15 minutes. I figured I might add a little time after the holidays.

Yeah, well, come January 2^nd, reality set in. My estimates about the expected extra drive time were way-ay-ay off! My morning commute jumped to 1-hour 15-minutes, and I was almost late to work. If there had been an accident or weather-related road conditions I WOULD have been late. My afternoon commute soared to 1½ - 2 hours. I quickly started trying some of the alternate routes I’d considered for accidents and inclement weather.

I have found my best alternates my morning and evening commutes that cut out a decent amount of time. I also change my shift to 7:00 to 3:30, which shaved off even more time. Yes, I have to leave a little earlier in the morning - 6:00 instead of 6:15 – but I don’t have to get up any earlier, so that’s just fine with me. That 15-minute lead time allows me to take the freeway for part of the trip, and I get to travel at posted speeds. Woohoo! I now get to work in only 30 to 40 minutes. Leaving work at 3:30 has its perks too. I miss the afternoon rush hour (which starts at 4:00ish) and make the drive home in just under an hour.

The only time even the alternate routes didn’t pan out was that week of Houston’s deep freeze. But then most businesses closed down – including my job for a day and a half. My biggest problem with that particular weather condition (other than driving slower to avoid ice skating) was that I discovered my car does not like getting out of bed when the temps drop to freezing or below. Especially, if the temperature stays below freezing for more than an hour (in this case for over 72 hours straight).

Thankfully, that’s not something I’ll usually encounter since the weather gods rarely wreak such havoc. No, they prefer the heavy rain and flooding havoc. Now all I need is another alternate route for when a heavy rain occurs overnight. Some of my alternate routes – and my current routes – tend to have flooding problems. Guess I’ll have to get up and leave earlier.

Week of Dec. 10, 2017 – Dreaming of a White Christmas – Or Is It a Green Christmas?

By Joan Whetzel

 

There’s a Christmas song I’m sure all of us has heard called “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas.” Naturally here in Houston, none of us expects this to occur. It takes a meteorological miracle of astronomical proportions for precipitation to turn to snow down here. It doesn’t snow here. It rains. The las time a little snow dusted the ground was 8 years ago. Before that, I can’t remember I think my kids were 2 and 6, so we’re talking somewhere around 1989 --- maybe.

Well this week, one of those meteorological magicians dumped some snow on us. We got 2 inches in our yard, and on our cars, and Christmas yard ornaments. Well, it darned near shut down the city. But the ground was so warm that the streets didn’t freeze except a few Highway overpasses. And the schools had missed so much school because of Hurricane Harvey in August and September, that the schools didn’t close. Only a few started late.

Well, I got another Christmas miracle on the same day the snow came. The job I’ve been looking for – for 6 months – finally came through. I start on Monday. They pay weekly so my first paycheck comes Friday December 22^nd. I’m dreaming of a Green Christmas now. I asked my prayer warrior mom if she needed knee surgery after all that. She says, “No! I do all my praying from my Easy Chair these days. HE knows my knees aren’t made for kneeling anymore.”

From me to everyone out there, Have a Happy Green Christmas

Week of Sept. 17, 2017 - Gardening Therapy

By Joan Whetzel

Last weekend one of my cousins (Meg) shared on Facebook, that she had “a million things” she was supposed to do last weekend. But instead, she decided to stay home and work on her flowerbeds. Though the other activities may have proven more interesting, the “gardening therapy” did far more for her soul than the ones she rejected.

Suddenly several other people joined the conversation with similar responses of having done some sort of gardening therapy. My daughter, oldest granddaughter, and I mowed and edged the yard and weeded a flower bed that Friday. And, though it’s not gardening therapy, we washed our cars on Sunday.

The general discourse around “gardening therapy” examined parallel themes of enjoying the sunshine and pleasant temperatures (mid-80s for the highs here), getting a little exercise (good for the body and the soul), and the fact that it’s one of those therapies that’s way-ay-ay-ay more calming and way- ay-ay-ay cheaper than shopping therapy. Yeah, that’s something I learned a long time ago. Though I do dip my toes into the shopping therapy pool on occasion, I can’t afford it. And besides, shopping therapy doesn’t feed my soul. It just leaves me with a bunch stuff I can’t afford and don’t usually want to take care of.

Gardening Therapy, on the other hand, (includes mowing for me), not only makes me feel physically better, it makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something worthwhile. And when my daughter and I are done, we have something tangible to show for our efforts – a yard that looks nice. Even though it tends to tire us out, it’s funny how much that use of energy energizes us, and inspires us to accomplish other tasks (like the car wash).

I think the biggest thing about Gardening Therapy, is that it reminds me of the Gardening Therapy my Grandma Pauken indulged in. No, my yard and my flowerbeds will never look as grand, colorful, and beautiful as hers. But nowadays, I have a much healthier appreciation for the time she spent puttering out in her yard. Especially during when there’s nothing to do out in the yard. I kinda miss working out in the yard then.

Snow??? I live in Southeast Texas. What is snow? Does shoveling snow count as Gardening Therapy?

Week of July 2, 2017 – Prayer Warrior, or My Patron Saint of Roller Coasters

By Joan Whetzel

It’s been 4 years since my husband died and in those 4 years, my life has had a number of ups and downs. I can honestly say, there’ve been days at a time – weeks at a time – when it felt like a never-ending roller coaster. Yeah, I know, everybody gets them. But, at least for me, it has felt more overwhelming riding that roller coaster alone. It somehow didn’t seem as challenging when I had a partner, taking turns riding shotgun.

Usually when I get on one of these rides, I make a list (thanks dad for the list-making obsession) of all the possible problems that could come up, all the possible solutions to each problem, and a breakdown of the steps needed for a successful outcome. Actually, I have discovered that the act of list-making has a calming effect. It relieves at least some of my stress by redirecting my focus away from all the negative emotions and stress and potential problems, and aims my thoughts toward more constructive ways of dealing with the current roller coaster.

Needing a new job to pay the bills is definitely one of those cases. You see, I’ve been going through an employment roller coaster the last few weeks. I started looking for a job about 3 months ago and have been without a job (officially) for a month. While I’ve been performing all the necessary actions to help myself get a job, the need to pay the bills and a couple of extra (expensive) things with only my husband’s pension and dwindling funds in the savings has punctuated my need to get a steady paying job as soon as possible. The fact that it keeps my stress levels from disappearing has also been a reminder that I could use a little help of a spiritual nature.

That’s where my prayer warrior comes in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know I should be praying for myself, asking Him for what I need, but it always feels a little selfish somehow. Whenever I mention my need to my mom – the world’s prayer warrior extraordinaire – she immediately gets on her knees, figuratively. Every time I’ve found myself in need, having her as my prayer warrior has brought me the best solutions and gotten them up and running in a rapid-fire delivery. Her prayers always work, and always quickly.

When this one showed signs of dragging on, I didn’t want to say anything, but I was beginning to wonder if my answer was going to be a permanent “no.” Last Friday, I visited my mom with my daughter and 2 of my siblings. While I was there, I got 3 – count ‘em three – phone calls from one company to set me up with an interview this week (Wednesday July 5, at noon).

My mom said she’d been praying like mad, and she was beginning to wonder if she might be losing her touch, or maybe she dialed the wrong number. Well that set us all off laughing about what it would look like if prayer-warrior mom decided it was time to make sure she had His attention. First, she’d clear her throat. If that didn’t work, she’d get on her knees in front of the Blessed Sacrament and give Him “the look” (you know which one I’m talking about). Then she’d follow through with the finger wag and a stern “Don’t make me come up there!”

I can hear him answering her back, “No, no, no Mary Louise! Please don’t come up here! One mom up here is enough.”

Don’t jump down my throat, and calling me sacrilegious for describing my mom pulling the mom-card on the Lord. Anybody who know my mom, and has had one of her prayer-warrior campaigns work on their behalf, knows I’m not being disrespectful here. This is just the way of things between Him and my mom. Besides I have the Lord and my prayer-warrior mom to thank for this interview and I know she’s back on her knees praying me through it. Praise the Lord!