Week of January 1, 2017 - Widows Are Happier

BY Joan Whetzel

 

I read an article recently about a study of nearly 2,000 widows and widowers in Italy. The study compared these widowed men and women over a 4-year period to see how they coped with the initial loss and widowhood over the next few years.

They study concluded that men were happier and less frail when married because they had wives taking care of them and their household needs. But once widowed, men were significantly more likely to become frail and depressed.

Women, it turns out, were 23% less likely to be frail and depressed after being widowed. Turns out that women are more likely to be stressed and depressed while married and taking care of their husbands, because they find “marriage restrictive and frustrating.”

Not only did they cope better with the initial stress of losing their husbands, the women in the study became much stronger and happier. Those that got jobs – or already had them – were less socially isolated and had greater job satisfaction. And those with higher education and financial levels had an even greater sense of physical and psychological well-being.

I don’t know if I’m as happy as my Italian counterparts, but I have to admit to feeling less stressed and depressed, and my life does feel less “restrictive and frustrating.” Working has definitely reduced my social isolation, and I no longer have that “caretaker” mentality I had when he was alive. I still find the need to remind myself, on occasion, that I don’t have to take his needs into consideration when making lifestyle changes.

I’ve been feeling this sense of freedom that I haven’t felt in a coon’s age. I don’t know if I’d call it happiness or relief. Either way, it feels pretty decent.