Week of October12, 2016 - Plumbing 101

By Joan Whetzel

Life has thrown us a lot of curve balls in the last year and a half. A huge chunk of those curveballs occurred during the summer of 2013. But the curve balls haven’t stopped coming at us. My daughter and I have solved many of the problems ourselves. Others we called for help to make the repairs. Some of our recent repairs have required crash courses in basic plumbing to:

1.      Replace the kitchen faucet and repaired leaky drain pipes under the kitchen counter.

2.      Replace a leaky bathroom faucet.

3.      Replace a leaky shower head and repaired the shower faucet – it no longer leaks.

The leaking shower head was the last thing we fixed. We started out replacing the shower head, which worked for about 2 weeks before the drip returned. The drip slowly increased until it was running steadily – and running up the water bill.

So we took the next step – figuring out which shower faucet we would need. We turned off the water at the meter, and replaced the faucet. Then turned the water back on. And the leak continued. Luckily, we were talking to my niece Catherine and her husband Tyler the next day. They were on their way to the hardware store and volunteered to inquire what else we could try – short of calling a plumber. Tyler came back with the information about a small piece of plumbing hardware inside the faucet sleeve that needed to be replaced.

I grasped the concept of what he was saying, but I needed a visual. So, I went online for a video on “shower faucet leak repairs.” Right there on YouTube was a short (10 minute) video showing exactly what we needed to do. I showed Emily and she agreed this was something we could do ourselves.

So we turned off the water again, removed the newly installed faucet, and pulled out the little piece that needed to be replaced. We took the part to the hardware store and found exactly what we needed. After replacing the piece and re-installing the faucet, we turned the water back on. Guess what? No more leak!!! Yea, us!

 

There are still home repairs to be made. It seems like every time we fix one thing, 2 or 3 more things suddenly need repairs. I’m now looking for a magic prayer that’ll slow them down or bring them to a halt.

Week of September 21, 2013 – Thing to Do While Waiting on the Repair Man - And an End to the Rain

By Joan Whetzel

 

It’s Friday and I’m waiting on s repairman to give me an estimate for some exterior repairs to the back of my house. The wait is worsened by this week’s rains which have made up for our 3 year drought. (Seriously, I’m thinking of investing in Ark supplies.) The company said they’d call before they came for their 2:30 scheduled appointment, but that it would depend on the rain and whether they’d finished with the job(s) they had scheduled before us. It’s not looking like they’ll make it.

Don’t get me wrong. I love a good rain. I especially love rainy nights – great sleeping weather. However, I don’t much enjoy driving to and from work in a driving rain as I’ve done all week. I’d rather be at home snuggled up with a blanket and a good book or some other indoor activity. The rain we’ve had all week has created nightmare traffic, flash flooding, and has slowed pick-up and delivery times for some service industries. Our trash pickup this morning, for instance, was about 4 hours later than usual. Guess those trucks were having trouble getting to and from the dump sites, what with all the flooding.

Once I returned home from my weekly grocery shopping this morning, I got into some warm, dry pajamas before putting up the groceries, I settled into a day of indoor, rainy day activities. I generally find that rainy days are great for getting stuff done around the house because I’m not tempted  to dally around outside in the sunshine. Waiting for the rain to stop as well as waiting for the repair man’s estimation has given me an opportunity to get a few things done today, like:

·         The laundry.

·         Clean the bathroom.

·         Write this blog.

·         Read a couple chapters in “Around the World in 80 Days.”

·         Find out what it takes to fix the leaky shower head.

·         Look up ways to get rid of the mushrooms growing in our yard – the same kind of mushrooms that are growing in all our neighbors’ yards.

·         Vacuum.

·         Do the dishes.

·         Make potato soup and corn bread for supper.

·         Online banking.

·         Going through some clothes and other items to take to Goodwill.

·         Mending clothes.

 While doing these rainy day activities, I have come up with a list of many other things I need to get done. I feel inspired to straighten up a whole bunch of stuff – including ways to cook mushrooms. Does anybody know which kinds of mushrooms are not good to eat?

Week of August 24, 2014 – Guess What! Another Surprise!

By: Joan Whetzel

When my husband died, I was left with a huge set of issues to deal with:

·                     Changing bills to my name

·                     Setting up online accounts for the bills, in my name

·                     Registering his death with IRS and Social Security.

·                     Canceling his driver’s license and voter’s registration

·                     Contacting his company’s HR department to see about his retirement plan, life insurance, pension plan, and his remaining vacation pay – by the way, that’s 4 different departments.

·                     Pay off the house with some of the life insurance, mainly because the mortgage holders wouldn’t deal with anyone but my husband, even after they knew he was dead.

·                     Getting an Estate Identification Number to deal with some of the checks (escrow from the house payments, vacation pay) that were written to his Estate.

·                     Setting up two bank accounts, one for me and one for the Estate.

There were numerous other things that kept getting thrown at me as well. I thought the list of things I needed to overcome would never end. But, somehow, I managed to get all those things done.

Luckily this year, the list is far smaller and a bit easier to manage – clearing out the vines behind the garage, getting a new water heater, replacing a weed-eater with a 12 month warranty (13 months after I bought it), and one more unexpected surprise.

In Saturday’s mail, my late husband got a Jury Summons. That’s right! He’s gets to appear at the Jury Assembly Room on September 24, 2014 and explain why he can’t serve on a Jury. And, no, death is not listed under the “Exemptions” that’ll get you out of Jury Duty. (Apparently, they didn’t take the cancelation of his driver’s license and voter’s registration as a hint.)  

So, Monday morning, I get to prove to one more government agency that he’s no longer with us. I wonder how many forms and documents and phone calls this one will take to prove that he has a legitimate reason for getting off the jury duty roster.

Week of August 10, 2014 – Review of “Two Old Women”

By Joan Whetzel

I recently re-read “Two Old Women” by Velma Wallis.  This little book (135 pages) tells a great Native American tale, based in Alaska, about a tribe facing hard times with little food and a hard winter fast approaching.  It was not unheard of that past generations would find it necessary to leave older tribe members behind when moving on to a new location in search for food. These chosen few were usually in ill health and considered close to death. This time, however, the two old women in question were not in ill health or close to death and were still contributing members of society – for the most part. Their “crime” was that the complained constantly. So the tribal council agreed that they must be left behind, for the good of the tribe, so that the small amount of available food could be stretched to feed the young and healthy members of the tribe.

Needless to say, this comes as quite a shock to the 2 old women and to the rest of the tribe. The tribe is afraid to speak up on behalf of the old women for fear of being left behind with them. They are also ashamed of not speaking up for them. None of them is completely without compassion, though. The tribe leaves them with a fire (the embers of which can be used to build future fires), their tent, the skins needed to use as a toboggan for transporting their meager supplies to a new campsite, a hatchet, and a bundle of babiche (raw moose hide strips that could be used for anything from rabbit traps to sewing hides together).

The old women first decide that they are not going to sit there and wait for death but try to survive on their own. In the process, they remember many of the survival skills they’d learned in their youth but had forgotten over time as the tribe slowly took over most of their jobs. They not only survive, they thrive beyond their wildest dreams.

A year later the tribe returns to the old campsite to find that the women had moved on. They go in search of the women to find that that as the tribe has continued to weaken from the lack of food and threadbare clothing, the old women have become stronger and had put away a large supply of food and clothing made of furs and animal skins. The tribe and the old women must work out a plan to reconcile their differences and work together again.

I loved this story the first time I read it. I love it even more now. It’s a reminder that when things get really tough that we all have choices.  We can pick up some new skills and resurrect some old skills, whatever it takes, as long as we keep on trying.

Week of August 3, 2014 – Doing Normal

By Joan Whetzel

My brother and I met for lunch the other day. We had an interesting conversation. He asked me if I had had trouble with the “anniversaries” since my husband’s death. He wanted to know how I had handled them.

When he first died, I had a lot of trouble sleeping because I was worried about everything and overwhelmed by all the things I had to take care of. Since I couldn’t sleep, I would get up and clean house, box up stuff I was giving away, collect items to be sold in garage sales… anything use the nervous energy and keep the demons at bay. It’s amazing how the mundane things in life – the “doing normal” seemed to help me deal with the hard times I was going through. 

So when my brother asked me about the anniversaries, I told him that I had indeed had difficulties, especially with the last 2 weeks of May – the time when my husband had his stroke, spent time in the ICU before dying in the hospice care, and the funeral. During the last 2 weeks of May this year, I found I didn’t want to get out of bed. I just wanted to stay there and pull the covers over my head. When he asked how I dealt with it, my answer again was that I needed to “do normal.” I needed the paycheck, so I got up and went to work.

He responded by telling how a friend of his related how immediately after Christ died, the apostles went back to fishing. Yes, they were devastated by their loss, and like me, they probably didn’t want to get out of bed, but they got up anyway and did something normal because it helped them deal with the loss in a constructive way.  

During the hard times, “doing normal” provides some sense of control.in the midst of the emotional turmoil. It becomes an anchor that ground us in real life so that the emotions don’t take over. It also becomes a place of strength (the strength to keep doing the things that need doing, even if they’re only small things) and a place of safety (we have a safe and normal place from which to move out into the world). “Doing normal” provides a way to keep on living, to keep on getting out of bed and putting one foot in front of the other.

Week of July 13, 2014 - MENTAL DEBRIS CLOGS FREEWAY

By Joan Whetzel

 

A number of years ago, I was driving – running errands – and listening to the radio. Well, I wasn’t really listening, I really just had it on for noise. During my half-way listening, the news came on. One of the reports was about metal debris flying off the back of a dump truck, leaving a freeway full of cars, trucks, police and fire emergency vehicles stranded with flat tires galore.  Of course, in my half-listening state, I what the news reporter said and what I heard were two different things. Instead of “metal debris” I heard “mental debris” which snapped me out of my stupor to listen to the rest of the story. I was a little disappointed to hear that it was just a simple case of tire-flattening metal shrapnel – although, I was quite sorry for all the people who were left stranded with 2 or more flat tires, not enough spares, and no way to get off the freeway. I was also glad that I was not one of the people who fell victim to this dump-truck driver’s folly.

However, it got me to thinking – and laughing – about all the possible outcomes of the “mental debris” scenario. What kind of mental debris would wreak as much havoc as that metal debris?

Among the possible scenarios I could imagine:

• A teenage girl, driving down the highway at 75mph, chatting on her cell phone. Her thoughts spewed out of her brain faster than the speed of sound, splattered out of her mouth and onto the freeway, leaving oily, brain-fuel puddles in her wake.

• The lady in the car following the teenager swerves to avoid an accident with an 18-wheeler in the next lane and skids to a stop on the shoulder, but not before scraping the passenger side of her car against the metal guardrail. The elderly female driver contributes to the teenager’s mental debris when, upon assessing the damage to her car and pondering her near miss, she lost her marbles all over the freeway.

• Another motorist then runs over the mental marbles and teenager’s thought slicks, loses control of his pick-up in a bizarre, cartoon-like fashion, and smashes into the HOV lane's concrete barrier. The driver, after vacating his vehicle and inspecting the damage to his decimated Dodge, promptly blows up in an exaggerated case of road rage. His jagged, mind shrapnel flows out onto the freeway, shredding tires left and right. Trucks and cars careen into each other until they become one huge mass of crushed steel and rubber.

Which then led me to wonder who police and firefighters would clean up such a mess? I guess they’d need to call out the HazMat unit so that all of that mental debris wouldn’t contaminate the ground water. With that much mental waste all over the freeway, they’d have to scrape it up and seal it in huge vats labeled “Warning! Hazardous Medical Waste” and send it off to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) in Atlanta to determine the degree of risk to local residents.

And what would the drivers be charged with (the ones who left their mental debris all over the freeway)? They’d be charged with reckless driving and endangering the public welfare. Of course, since they had left much of their mental-ness all over the freeway they may not be competent to stand trial since, as some might describe it, their engines were running but nobody was behind the wheel. Then of course, the CDC would have to try and figure out if they could separate the mental debris and return it to the rightful owners. On the other hand, if the mental debris caused this much damage to begin with, do we really want it returned to the rightful owners?

Week of July 8, 2014 - Making Lists

By Joan Whetzel

 

I have made lists for as long as I can remember. It’s a habit I picked up from my dad, who made lists for every task imaginable, whether small or large. Every summer vacation, every move to a new house, even weekend chores had a list made up in advance. And, as each item on the list was accomplished, it was checked off. Actually, moving required several lists: 1. Packing, 2. Unpacking, 3. Everything going onto and off of the moving van, 4. Items being loaded into the car at the beginning of the trip, and out of the car at each hotel, back on the car for the next day’s travel, and finally into the new house at the other end, 5. Travel itinerary (included meals, hotels, gasoline stops, and bathroom breaks).

There are some advantages to making lists. First, it breaks each job down into smaller, more manageable increments. Second, as you mark off items from the list, you get that sense of accomplishment as you see the list getting smaller and the end result looking more attainable.

Some of the ways I have used lists include:

1.      Writing: I break each story or paper down by subtopics, then by the time I need to finish the research, the writing, the editing time, and the due date for completed article or paper.

2.      College: I went to college late and had a hard time getting back into the swing of going to school. The work load at the beginning of each semester seemed overwhelming until I broke down each class’s syllabus and determined when every reading and writing assignment was due, when each test would be taken, and set up weekly schedule to complete the tasks.

3.      Setting Up My New Life: After my husband died, I was left with a lot of things that I needed to accomplish, like changing all the bills into my name (including billing and online bill paying), getting his death certificate and other documents that I would need to legally do the bills and other things I needed to accomplish, get his life insurance, get his pension payments, get the remainder of his vacation pay, pay off the house note, pay off the community association dues, pay the property taxes, take care of the income taxes (mine and the “Estate of Mark” taxes – yes 2 returns this year), clear out a lot of his stuff, make home repairs, set up a mowing and yard work routine, and get a job. Well, I’m still looking for the full time job, but the part time minimum wage job is a step in the right direction. The lists helped me break down each task into a set of steps. And as each item on that ever evolving list was checked off, I began to feel a sense of accomplishment I cannot even begin to describe.

It’s been a journey, but I have found that list making has made it a little bit saner. While the “Setting Up My New Life” list is still evolving, that list has grown considerably smaller and the tasks seem more manageable. Who’d have thunk it?