By Joan Whetzel
Some time ago a wrote an article on the stages of stress,
not realizing that I would be going through these stages myself. Well, it
wasn't fun, but I can honestly say I think I came out the other side a lot
stronger person.
Alarm
My alarm stage came when I found my husband laying on the living room floor. He wasn't responding appropriately to my questions and urging to wake up and come to bed. I knew something was wrong when I realized he wasn't moving the left side of his body and was laying in his own vomit. The alarm didn't go away for several days as he went to surgery twice to have the blood drained off his brain, and had other procedures to try and reduce the swelling in his brain and drain the spinal fluid, all the while watching his condition deteriorate to the point where it was quite evident that he was not going to pull out of this, and we were going to have to let him go. For weeks after his death the alarm continued as I tried to figure out where the money to continue living was going to come from, and how to take care of the bills, and what I needed to do to clear out a handful of major debts. For me, this was a period of sleeping about 2.5 to 3 hours at night, not being able to eat, and going into clean-freak overdrive just to deal with the stress.
My alarm stage came when I found my husband laying on the living room floor. He wasn't responding appropriately to my questions and urging to wake up and come to bed. I knew something was wrong when I realized he wasn't moving the left side of his body and was laying in his own vomit. The alarm didn't go away for several days as he went to surgery twice to have the blood drained off his brain, and had other procedures to try and reduce the swelling in his brain and drain the spinal fluid, all the while watching his condition deteriorate to the point where it was quite evident that he was not going to pull out of this, and we were going to have to let him go. For weeks after his death the alarm continued as I tried to figure out where the money to continue living was going to come from, and how to take care of the bills, and what I needed to do to clear out a handful of major debts. For me, this was a period of sleeping about 2.5 to 3 hours at night, not being able to eat, and going into clean-freak overdrive just to deal with the stress.
Resistance
I went into resistance sporadically,
sometimes in overdrive energy. Other days, not being able to do anything.
Feeling stuck, depressed, and fatigued from the lack of sleep and food. There
seemed to be no end in sight for the things I needed to get done - and the need
to get a job - but things weren't getting done as fast as I thought they
should.
Exhaustion
As things started getting done, I finally started feeling the exhaustion from running on adrenaline for so long. I had become a stress and adrenaline junky. I think the energy from the stress and adrenaline were a good thing because I wouldn't have gotten so many things done without them. But they were starting to wear me out.
As things started getting done, I finally started feeling the exhaustion from running on adrenaline for so long. I had become a stress and adrenaline junky. I think the energy from the stress and adrenaline were a good thing because I wouldn't have gotten so many things done without them. But they were starting to wear me out.
Well things aren't perfect. Nor are
they exactly where I'd like them to be. But I've accomplished about 75% of
everything I needed - and wanted - to accomplish in the 11 months since that
night I had to get my husband to the hospital. Yeah, there's still lots to do
(including getting a full time job to replace my current part time job), but
the sense of urgency has decreased. I can eat again (a problem now since I've
become a comfort food addict) and I can now sleep about 6 hours at night. The
stress levels have decreased to a tolerable level.. I think I'll get through
the rest of those things I still need to take care of in one piece.
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