JOAN'S OFFICE: I Must’ve Had a Screw Loose

JOAN'S OFFICE: I Must’ve Had a Screw Loose: By Joan Whetzel Well, my A/C started acting up a few weeks ago. Right in the middle of the October end of our Texas summer (highs 95 ...

I Must’ve Had a Screw Loose

By Joan Whetzel

Well, my A/C started acting up a few weeks ago. Right in the middle of the October end of our Texas summer (highs 95 degrees +/-).  First it developed a clatter. Then it decided it wasn’t going to blow as hard nor as cold as was customary. I even checked out the heater a few times. I was getting some heat, but not at its usual level. Then it quit altogether. And it started again for about 10 minutes. And it stopped. And….

So I had the guys at O’Reilly Auto Parts check it out. It was the blower motor – that part that blows the hot or cold air through the vents. They didn’t have the part but could order it, for 180 dollars!

After watching a YouTube video  that made it look like a quick and easy fix, I decided I was going to attempt this repair myself. It was simply a matter of removing 3 screws, unplugging the wires supplying power and the air flow tube, and letting the old blower motor drop out. Then doing the reverse with the new blower motor. Total time? Approximately 5 minutes.

The hardest part, it appeared, was that the motor could only be accessed inside the car, underneath the glove compartment, which meant spending a few minutes on my knees, on the concrete, and twisting my torso so I could use my left hand to unscrew the screws. This was my first hint of trouble – it was a job for lefties – and people who can stand kneeling for long periods of time on a hard surface – trying to remove screws that hadn’t been removed in 14 years and had no plans for coming out now.

Two hours later, I couldn’t get up off the ground, my knees were screaming, my back muscles cramped up so that I couldn’t straighten myself, and, yes, the screws were still in place. I couldn’t get hold of my son or daughter to come help me because one’s phone was dead ant the other had turned his phone off. Well, my daughter finally came home. 2 ½ hours after I’d started. Of course by this time, I was cussing like a sailor at three stupid screws which I swore up and down I was going to toss into a field somewhere; anywhere where they could never give lick of trouble to another living sole ever again!

Except for one thing. A quick glance at the new blower motor exposed another problem. It came without screws.  So, when my daughter attacked the screws, we made sure to hang onto those (bleep)ing  little parts. It took my daughter 15 minutes to remove them (only because I'd spent the better part of 2 ½ hours loosening them for her). In less than a minute she had the old blower motor out and was replacing the (bleep)ing screws into the new one – yeah, they went in much easier than they came out. A few seconds later she had the wires and air flow hose plugged back in. The blower motor now puts out the usual Arctic Waste and Saharan Summer winds.  

If I’d known that 3 little screws were going to make my Sunday afternoon this aggravating, I might have reconsidered. I almost had myself convinced (for a second) that I had a few of my own screws loose for attempting this repair. But instead, I’ve found it’s made me fighting mad. I am not going to let a seemingly easy auto repair stop me. Next time, I get a repair that looks like something I could do, I’m going after it with a vengeance. This is not going to beat me. One good thing that’s come out of it, though. My daughter’s blower motor was doing the same thing as mine. She knows where the blower motor is and she now knows how to fix it. Next paycheck? We’re attacking a Toyota Matrix.

Oh, and if anyone has a prayer, a good luck charm, or a magic spell for making the removal of stubborn screws easier, send them our way.

Making Life Changes – Taking My Life Back

                                                                        By: Joan Whetzel

November is only few short weeks away, and marks one of those milestones. In just over a month lies what would have been my 37^th wedding anniversary, which falls on Thanksgiving this year. One of my friends at work is getting married 2 days after my anniversary, on a Saturday, just like the year I got married. Yeah, it makes me a little uncomfortable, but I am also looking forward to the wedding because she is such a sweetheart and I really couldn’t be happier for her. In one way it makes me sad to no longer be celebrating my own wedding, but in another, it feels like I’m handing over the reins to someone special. This change, for me, is like letting loose of one of those widow’s milestones that I no longer wish to hang onto, and giving it to someone who will breathe the life back into it, and the happiness, and the blessings. It’s no longer my sad anniversary. It’s her happy one.

I’ve found that my life changes in recent years have come in two forms. The changes that have been thrust upon me, and the changes that I want to make in order to take my life back.

The first few months of widowhood were cram-packed with those changes that were thrust upon me. I hated having all of that “reality” dropped in my lap until I felt like I was being buried alive. I was talking about this with another friend from work, who it turns out was widowed just 1 year before me. Like her, I have come to be grateful now for those piles of changes. If it weren’t for all those changes that needed urgent or immediate attention, I would have caved-in to my deep desire to just crawl into bed and hide under the covers until it all went away. They forced me to get up and take care of all those things that were most definitely NOT going away.

They closed the door to my life as I once knew it. But they also opened a window of opportunity (didn’t look like an opportunity at the time), and unceremoniously shoved through and forced me to make the changes I needed to make my life better. They also showed me I had the strength and courage to make the changes.

My discussion with my newly discovered fellow-widow also pointed out something else to me. Like her, I am at the point where I want to take my life back in other ways. I hadn’t realized just how much of myself I’d given up to take care of others: to raise children, to help my son when he had troubles in high school, to help my daughter when she moved back in with us and went through a particularly difficult custody battle, then navigating my husband’s illness and death. I really need to figure out what my dreams are so I can work them back into my life. And I need to protect my dreams, make sure they stay my dreams.

My friend told me about her dream to buy a beach house in Galveston. Two family members, knowing her funds were more limited than theirs, began looking for a beach house that they would “let” her share whenever she wanted. As good as their intentions were, it felt like they were hijacking her dream. Through a set of circumstances beyond their control, they were unable to buy the beach house. No sooner had their plans fallen through, than the perfect beach house for her presented itself – at the perfect price – on her wedding anniversary.

Part of taking my life back has included changing the dynamics of my relationship with my husband’s family, especially with his mother (a relationship that has never been good). It means spending far less time with them and no longer allowing my husband’s mother to control my life and ignore my boundaries. They don’t like it, but I didn’t expect they would. I have also been finding my own opinion on things – like politics. There have been times when others d0 not agree with my opinion, and would probably like to put me back in my place (e.g. I should agree with them, or remain silent like I used to do).  But it feels good to be able to have an opinion that’s mine, one that’s not dictated to me by others (like the in-laws).

But I know there will be other changes, as I find new dreams and discover ways to follow them. These changes – the ones I choose to take my life back – will be positive. There may be one or two who will disapprove (like my husband’s mother who disapproves of everything). But those who care about me and have my best interests at heart, will be glad and will cheer me on because they’ll know that I’m breathing the life back into my dreams, and the happiness, and the blessings.